Ask Nene | Getting Out of the Friend-Zone


I’ve been friends with this guy for 4 years. He’s one of the greatest people in my life. I think there’s a connection there and would like to get out of the friend zone during our final year of university to see if anything can come of it. Do you have any advice on how I can do this, and if it’s even worth it? – S.


Hey there missy!

Thank you for sending out your question! Firstly, you have been friends for 4 years.. That is a long time to be friends with someone of the opposite sex and have nothing happen. Which leads me to believe that you truly are.. Just friends. I’m a firm believer that if you’re friends with the person you end up being in a relationship with, you stand a better chance at being in it for the long run. That being said, you need to be aware that being romantically involved with someone is not the ultimate outcome. Some people are better at being friends than anything else, and you may come to find that some of your friendships are much more meaningful than some relationships. Do not underestimate the beauty of a true friendship. Now… Have you ever heard the saying: “Cross the line… If it doesn’t work out draw a new one”? It’s part of this whole crazy thing called life. I don’t think you want to be asking yourself, two, three years from now, if there was anything more to this friendship. You will never know until you actually address it. Honesty might be the best policy in this case, if you trust him to be mature enough to handle the situation gracefully, you should have a conversation with this person. If you’re feelings are not reciprocated and your connection is as strong as you believe it is, you will both move past it and continue this friendship (Your ego might be slightly bruised but trust me, it’s nothing a killer red lipstick and a cute new pair of shoes can’t fix). If you guys can’t move past it, then the friendship wasn’t as deep as you thought it was and that’s not the end of the world either. Some people are not meant to be in your life forever. Lastly, this may be the beginning of an actual romantic relationship.

Conclusion: You will never know until you actually try and whatever the outcome is, you will be fine!